Hansel and Gretel Pantomime Script
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Dame Kitty Kipling makes exceedingly good cakes. Unfortunately, so does the witch.
When Stinkworth delivers Hansel and Gretel straight to Griselda for dinner, Dame Kitty Kipling gathers a rescue party, her hapless son Greg makes everything considerably harder, and the Gingerbread House oven turns out to be where things really hot up.
There's a town centenary with a towering pyramid of profiteroles, more crazy cakes and barmy biscuits than Bake Off, and a scene that sends Dame Kipling and Greg out into the audience. The Customer can be played by one performer or three, so the script flexes to whatever company you have.
This panto script is a sweet treat!
Cast Size: 8 Principal Characters, plus 4 Supporting Roles and Ensemble
Approximate Running Time: 1 hour, 50 minutes plus Interval
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Hansel and Gretel Pantomime Script Excerpt
GREG is hosting Sugartown’s baking celebration in the Town Square. He is talking to the AUDIENCE.
GREG: We’re just waiting for one more person to arrive: my mum, Dame Kipling.
ENSEMBLE 1: I hope she gets here soon. She always makes the best biscuits.
ENSEMBLE 2: I wonder what she’s bringing. I love her coffee-flavoured teacakes!
GREG: (To the AUDIENCE) Last year she made a biscuit model of our town square complete with the market place. She made the market stalls out of sponge fingers, jelly, and custard. It looked lovely, but it was a trifle bazaar!
ENSEMBLE 3: I think Dame Kipling makes exceedingly tasty cakes.
ENSEMBLE 1: I’d say Dame Kipling makes exceedingly delicious cakes.
ENSEMBLE 2: Personally, I think Dame Kipling makes exceedingly marvellous cakes.
GREG: They’ve been trying to come up with a marketing slogan for my mum’s baking for years, but they’ve never quite got it right!
ENSEMBLE 3: (To GREG) Do you know when she’s going to arrive? She’s the only person who isn’t here.
An evil chord sounds as STINKWORTH enters.
STINKWORTH: She’s not the only person who isn’t here. What about Griselda?
GREG: (To the AUDIENCE) That’s Stinkworth. He’s the henchman for Griselda, the wicked witch of the forest. He used to be nice, but since he met Griselda, he’s become a real meanie!
ENSEMBLE 3: Come off it, Stinkworth, you know perfectly well she’s not invited.
STINKWORTH: Not invited? That’s not very neighbourly!
ENSEMBLE 1: Not very neighbourly? Says you! You only come round when Griselda wants something.
STINKWORTH: You mean like last week when I popped round for some milk?
ENSEMBLE 2: Except you didn’t just take some milk, you stole our cow!
ENSEMBLE 3: And you trashed the dairy! There was milk spilled everywhere!
STINKWORTH: Now, now, there’s no point crying over it!
ENSEMBLE 1: And when you wanted some honey, you took the whole beehive. That really stung!
STINKWORTH: Oh buzz off!
ENSEMBLE 2: Everyone here has a story about how you’ve been horrid to us.
The ENSEMBLE protest and talk over each other trying to tell their story. STINKWORTH puts up his hands and calls to stop their verbal onslaught.
STINKWORTH: OK, OK! There may have been a few occasions when Griselda’s been slightly overzealous with some of the things she’s borrowed.
ENSEMBLE 1: (In disbelief) Borrowed?!
ENSEMBLE 3: (Dismissively) I’ll believe it when I see it.
STINKWORTH: You can get upset if you want, but you know what the alternative is!
The ENSEMBLE recoil. They know exactly what he’s referring to.
HANSEL: Excuse me, but I don’t.
GRETEL: Me neither. What’s the alternative?
GREG: (To the AUDIENCE) That’s Hansel and Gretel. They’re good kids, but they’re not that wise in the ways of the world.
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Production Photos
Hansel and Gretel Characters
Principal Characters
Hansel: Titular character and Gretel’s brother
Gretel: Titular character and Hansel’s sister
Dame Kitty Kipling: Baker, cake maker and biscuit connoisseur
Greg Kipling: An enthusiastic but hapless baker
Ernest: Hansel and Gretel’s father
Edna: Hansel and Gretel’s stepmother
Griselda: Wicked Witch and occupant of the Gingerbread house
Stinkworth: Griselda’s horrible sidekick
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Mr Wollyhood, Mrs Peith, and Miss Merry: Local cake-bakers
Customer: A recurring customer at Dame Kipling’s Bakery
Ensemble: Townsfolk, Bakers, Skeletons and Ghosts etc
List of Scenes
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Scene One: The Town Square
Scene Two: The Edge of the Forest
Scene Three: The Town Square
Scene Four: The Forest
Scene Five: Dame Kipling’s Bakery
Scene Six: The Forest
Scene Seven: Dame Kipling’s Bakery
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Scene Eight: Deep in the Forest
Scene Nine: Deeper in the Forest
Scene Ten: The Gingerbread House
Scene Eleven: Even Deeper in the Forest
Scene Twelve: The Gingerbread House
Scene Thirteen: Song Sheet
Scene Fourteen: Finale/Bows
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